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My Story

My relationships today with all three of my children is mutually loving and respectful, but that wasn't always the case!   There was a time when my son stopped talking to me for over a year because of the negative feelings he developed towards me as a result of my divorce. 


Somehow, I became the "bad" parent because I initiated the divorce. And my ex the "good" parent became he was the "victim" of the divorce. Therefore, my wounded ex talked badly about me to my children causing them to defend him because he seemed more emotionally vulnerable. And my son naturally supported his father which eventually made his opinion of me go from loving and respectful to angry and distant.


My fear of losing the relationship with my son and the anger I felt towards my ex for contributing to the problem, eventually drove a wedge between my son and I. And no matter what I did to try fix things with him, it only made things worse. Naturally, that made me even more angry and resentful towards my ex. The power struggle with my son and I continued until his negativity towards me started affecting my daughters too. This was when I realized I had to confront his negative behaviour.  Truth was, I was afraid to because I feared I would drive him away forever!  So instead I just stuck my head in the sand, hoping to find some comfort in denial.  Instead, I continued to blame my ex for the pain this was causing me. But, deep down inside, I knew I had to own up to what was truly going on, and take responsibility to change the situation with my son.  Otherwise, my biggest fear of losing him would come true!   What I had learned was that the solution to fixing my family relationships was to fix the relationship with myself first!   So, I began by taking the necessary time to emotionally heal my emotions and all the pain and "baggage" I was carrying around from my past.  It wasn't easy, but I knew it was the only way out of this never ending problem!


Becoming a happier, healthier mom helped me understand not only my pain, but my son's pain too. I learned a better way to communicate with him using love -- not fear, anger or control!  Soon our relationship not only healed, but got even better than I thought possible!  Here are some photos of me and my children.  And my son and I sharing a loving embrace at his wedding.  I am definitely a better, happier mom now!

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